Why I Still Love Lloyd Dobler and Still Think Jake Ryan is a Skeeze

“Just knowing that a version like that exists, knowing that just for a minute she felt that and wrote ‘I can’t help loving you.’ That has to be a good thing.” Lloyd Dobler

Before I start this post, I need to write a disclaimer. I like “Sixteen Candles.” In fact, I own “Sixteen Candles.” It is, by most accounts, an 80’s classic. Samantha’s sister is hilarious, the Geek is a great character, and aside from the obvious political incorrectness throughout, it’s a pretty funny movie.

Now here is where a lot of people will likely disagree with me, but for the life of me, I can’t like Jake Ryan. He’s cute, no doubt about that. But looks aside, I think he’s pretty much a skeeze.

“You’d better not be dickin’ me around. It’d be a major downer to try and get together with this girl and find out that she really does think I’m a slime.” -Jake Ryan

Actually yes, Jake, I do think you are a slime.

However, I love Lloyd Dobler. Those who knew me in high school are quite aware of this fact. I love the way Lloyd loves Diane in “Say Anything.” I love how he doesn’t try to impress anyone or be anyone that he already isn’t. I love how he doesn’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. How he doesn’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, he doesn’t want to do that. Call him a parents’ nightmare date for their teen girl, or whatever. Lloyd is true, he’s loyal, and he’s oh so amazingly adorable that my heart still swells for him.

Let us look at the facts, shall we…

Lloyd loves Diane so much he shakes when they spend the night together. The following day, he writes her a letter saying, “Dear Diane, I’ll always be there for you. All the love in my heart. Lloyd”

On the other hand…

While Jake is at the dance, holding his girlfriend in his arms, he is looking at Samantha.

Did I mention that he didn’t even show an interest in Samantha until he read a note unintended for him, and discovered that he was the one guy she would sleep with if given the chance?

Lloyd loves his family, despite not being a priority for them.

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Lloyd’s question to his sister.

Lloyd calls Diane up and invites her out while living at the apartment that he shares with his sister and nephew. His life isn’t easy. No one in his family even made it to his high school graduation.

When Diane breaks his heart, he desperately tries to prove his love and win her back.

Standing beneath Diane’s window playing their song.




“I’ll let you take Caroline home. But you gotta make sure she gets home. You can’t leave her in a parking lot somewhere. Okay?” (how noble) “She’s so blitzed she won’t know the difference.”

When Caroline passes out, Jake lets the Geek drive her home in his dad’s Rolls-Royce…so he can call Samantha.

The kissing in the rain scene. Pretty much every 80’s girls’ fantasy date when this movie was released.

Lloyd loves Diane for who she is. He doesn’t care that she’s smart, and he isn’t intimidated by her fellowship or future success. He visits the nursing home where she works and supports her through her dad’s legal troubles.

giff 2

Um…okay? I guess if you’re Jake Ryan, a guy with a lot of money and good looks, it’s okay to dream big at the expense of your currently intoxicated girlfriend.

Lloyd’s best friend, Corey. I couldn’t agree more.

Why can’t more guys be like Lloyd?

“I have this theory of convergence, that good things always happen with bad things. I know you have to deal with them at the same time, but I just don’t know why they have to happen at the same time.” -Diane

And not like Jake Ryan?

“I can get a piece of ass anytime I want. Shit, I’ve got Caroline in the bedroom right now, passed out cold. I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to.”

I guess I’m just the type who believes if you’re going to fall in love, you should fall in love with all of your heart.


And it should be with someone who will love you back with all of his.

One thought on “Why I Still Love Lloyd Dobler and Still Think Jake Ryan is a Skeeze

  1. The sh*tstorm of creeps in the news over the last few weeks caused me to google Lloyd Dobler. I needed a refuge. Came across this piece. It helps a bit. Thanks.


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